With the decrepit Eurozone economy heading this way and a gallon of gas about the price of a six-pack of Milwaukee’s Best, maybe the best escape this year is a mindless blowing of cash on similarly mindless entertainment.
I’m talking about big buck Rock Shows at Big Buck rock barns like the Palace in Auburn Hills, events that cost more than a car payment.
A $6.50 ticket to see The Rolling Stones at Cobo Arena in 1972 would cost $33.90 today, according to the Consumer Price Index. If the Stones ever hit the road again, prices will reach the thousands of dollars for the top seats, and $33.90 will get you a parking place. Inflation? No, it’s demand. We’re in love with the lights, the sound, the rhythm, the noise. Even the 140 channels of cable isn’t doing the job. So you’ve got a shot at making it through the year, thanks to some major tours.
Few deliver the bomb of heavy like the mighty Rammstein, who bring fire-spewing thud to Auburn Hills on May 6 in support of the retrospective, Made In Germany 1995-2011. This band is synonymous with over-the-top pyrotechnics as well as being the reigning kings of drop D/drop C tuning. Anything sung in Deutsch sounds pissed-off, and it just serves to make these guys more intense. Tickets start at $56 for the rafters and end at $425.
Black Sabbath will somehow manage to step, very carefully, very slowly, onto major U.S. stages this summer for a tour with all four original members - Ozzy, Geezer, Tony and Bill. These guys are doddering cool personified. Yea, “Snowblind” might ring a little hollow, given that if anyone in the band lives up to the cocaine tribute tune, a stroke at first snort is almost certain. Sabbath did a press conference at the Whiskey in L.A. in November, announcing the band was writing new songs bla bla, new album produced by Rick Rubin, etc. Hopefully, the band will save us the pain of the new stuff and blast through “N.I.B.” like it’s 1971 and leave it at that. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will record an album then again tour the U.S. later in the year after a couple months of dates in Europe.
If it sounds like a tired routine, well it’s not to Bruce fans. It’s a true religion and the faith pays off every two or three years. This will be the first series of U.S. live dates since the death in Clarence Clemons, who passed away in June. Akron Ohio’s
Black Keys with Arctic Monkeys as opener will tour the barns of America beginning in March. Both bands are solid in a small venue, the likes of which they rarely see these days. Ticket pimps are getting $432 a seat. Slum it on general admission floor access for $327. Some Keys followers are un-amused. Check this post at the band’s site regarding the date at the 23,500 capacity United Center in Chicago:
Yes they are. Today, making it means more than just selling some music; it means shedding fans who can’t deal with the caverns. By the way, the Joe is the same place Roger Waters will deliver The Wall in June. For Waters, tickets start at $102, with a VIP package starting at $550 a shot. Then add fees. Then add parking. But just because you’re riding low wallet side after spending a grand or so on the top dollar shows doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy something a little more indie at a venue a little less like a mall.
Chicago’s vastly underrated Mannequin Men will tour the same alt rock dives the Black Keys used to in support of the new, self-titled fourth full-length release. Not sure how long it’s going to take people to realize that the Men are the only band that can live down the Replacements/Big Star/Wire comparisons and prevail. I hear more inspiration of The Go, Detroit’s brilliant outfit from the late 90s.
What with smoking bans, handling fees for just selling a ticket and long lines, it’s a surprise that the concert industry still prospers. The good money, though, still goes to an ear-splitting barre chord or an energetic show from someone who is happy and thankful to be on stage. When it happens in the right way for the right reason, it’s a magic that can’t be replicated in our short lives.
