Chronicle
Just imagine the perils of three high school students suddenly acquiring the powers of telekinesis, invulnerability and flight. Using the now-popular ‘found footage' production style, Chronicle explores how the trio strengthens their powers, learning the advantages and perils of being more than human and follows what happens when one of their own goes rogue.
The Woman in Black
Daniel Radcliffe, bereft of his magical wizardry faces off against another malevolent spiritual entity in this adaptation of Susan Hill's novel. A young lawyer sent to settle an estate finds more than he bargained for: a sinister specter of a pale woman in black, mysterious deaths of children and a pall of dread that hangs over the town. Can he push back the ominous cloud, or will vengeance prevail?
Opening February 17
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Nick Cage dons his fiery skull, leather chaps, and straddles his magic hog in this sequel to the 2007's Ghost Rider. Pulled out of a self-imposed exile, the Rider must again contend with the forces of evil when Satan attempts to take on bodily form and destroy the world. Be on the lookout for hard hits, chain whips and witty quips.
This Means War
In a twist on the stereotypical guy-girl-guy Hollywood love triangle, director McG not only pits Chris Pine and Tom Hardy against each other in a battle for the affections of Reese Witherspoon; he also gives them guns, hand-to-hand combat skills and the full might of the CIA. Hilarity, touching moments and millions in property damage are sure to result.
Opening February 24
Act of Valor
Any film that includes in its cast ACTIVE DUTY NAVY SEALS automatically takes the cake for BA-ness in this reviewer's mind. Act of Valor follows a squad of SEALS charged with the dual task of rescuing a kidnapped CIA operative and straight-up killing as many terrorists as possible.
Tyler Perry's Good Deeds
Tyler Perry stars as Wesley Deeds, a man living like most men: in a zombie-like state of fulfilling expectations, living in the business world and unaware of how empty his life is. However, his lifestyle comes crashing down when he befriends a plucky single mother who gives him the courage to trade his successful lifestyle of meeting expectations for what he really always wanted.
It's February and gaudy jewelry, overpriced chocolates and a nebulous little sentiment called romance all permeate the air. And whether you're snuggling up with your main squeeze or defiantly going it alone, the time is right for a movie. But rather than an overripe, cloyingly sentimental dollop of the usual romantic fare, try one of these left-of-center options. Love, desire and pick axes are featured prominently, and they'll have you either clutching your partner tight or patting yourself on the back for flying solo.
The Vanishing (1988)
This Dutch psychological thriller introduces lovers Rex and Saskia, a young couple on a joyful road trip. But when Saskia fails to rejoin Rex after a service station stop, Rex mentally unravels and plunges into desperate obsession. When he begins receiving notes from Saskia's abductor years later, Rex is faced with a life-altering decision. This tense, unnerving drama demonstrates the lengths one can go to when their love is unceremoniously plucked away, and the mystery of not knowing burns deep enough to demand closure at any cost. Harrowing and essential.
Fear (1996)
Known as the "Marky Mark goes psycho!" movie, Fear brings Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon together, then un-cages Wahlberg's toxic, raging possessiveness when they're kept apart. Equal parts corny and legitimately unnerving, Fear is a showcase for how desire and a need for togetherness can plummet into the abyss of stalking and murder faster than you can say "creepy roller coaster scene." It's a siege movie / love tale, full of poisonous longing and violent repercussions, and a wicked guilty pleasure.
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
No twisted love film bit would be complete without this February-set, Canadian slasher. While not a love story per se, My Bloody is set on the most romantic of holidays and depicts the aftermath of the homicidal Harry Warden's return to Valentine Bluff. While technically a color-by-numbers slasher, My Bloody benefits from the tense, claustrophobic setting of the town's mine shafts and the gas mask / pick axe of the killer is almost as iconic as Jason's hockey mask. A no-frills horror romp only coincidentally set on the day of love, My Bloody will encourage either cowering in your partner's shoulder or chuckling derisively, depending on your amorous disposition.
Opening January 6
The Devil Inside
There's no better way to start off the New Year than by watching another exorcism film. Shot in low-budget documentary format like the popular Paranormal Activity, The Devil Inside follows the journey of Isabella Rossi to help her demon-possessed mother, Maria, and the ensuing chaos that surrounds the attempted exorcism. Adult diapers are not provided, but should be.
Opening January 13
Joyful Noise
Another feel-good, sing-song-y film about two sassy women brought together by the power of young love and song. When Vi Rose Hill is picked to be the new director of a struggling, small-town choir, she must contend with G. G. Sparrow, the former director's widow, and Randy, her ne'er do well grandson with a golden voice, to win the ‘Joyful Noise' choir competition in LA. Surely good feelings, up-beat music and its saccharine plot will put a smile on even the most seasonal-affected person's face.
Opening January 20
Underworld: Awakening
In the second sequel of the Underworld series Kate Beckensale returns as Selene, the leather corset-wearing, lycan-slaying vampire who laughs in the face of Twi-hards. After being imprisoned for 12 years, Selene awakens to find herself in a human-dominated world, where vampires and lycans are seen as a blight on society and are systematically hunted down. Selene must fight to stay alive and rescue the girl who might be the key to vampires' survival.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock star in this feel-good film for the post-9/11 world. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close follows the quest of Oskar, a boy trying to make sense of his father's death in the World Trade Center. Upon finding a key tucked away inside his father's closet, Oskar sets out to unravel what might be a last, cryptic message from his beloved father. Be sure to bring some tissues, it's sure to be a tear-jerker.
Opening January 27
Man on a Ledge
In what's probably the most vertigo-inducing way to prove his innocence, Sam Worthington plays Nick Cassidy, an escaped convict who takes to a ledge 20 stories over New York City. Unbeknownst to the police, public, and the media, his staged suicide attempt is really a massive smokescreen to allow his brother and a crack team of criminals to pull off the perfect heist and take down the man that put Nick behind bars.
At some point during the holiday season, you're likely to reach a breaking point. That moment when anything resembling Will Ferrell exclaiming how much he loves syrup or, Heaven forbid, a bratty blonde boy tries to scheme his way into a dangerous BB gun as a present, just brings your blood to a near boil. When that inevitable moment occurs, take solace in the fact that there is a selection of viewing guaranteed to erode all traces of the typical, saccharine Christmas tales from your mind.
Tales from the Crypt, Season 1: Episode 2. "And All Through the House" (1989)
The single most disturbing thing watched during my childhood, this festive fright showcased the classic HBO series in its infancy. What starts as run-of-the-mill murder and double-cross quickly crosses the line into desperate tremors of horror when Santa escapes from the mental hospital and finds an axe. Full of morbid humor and the intense leering of Larry Drake as Santa, this tinsel-strangled tale of terror has images that haunt me to this day.
Silent Night Deadly Night (1984)
A notorious slasher incorrectly credited as one of the British "Video Nasty" films, Silent Night shows the aftermath of a child traumatized when a murderous St. Nick attacks his family. It is hard to understand just what a ruckus this film made upon release, as watching it now, it is almost quaint in how average it is. Still, a twisted, vengeful Santa declaring his victims "Naughty!" before dispatching them is worth the price of admission alone.
Don't Open Til Christmas (1984)
This no-budget British cult gem (also chief inspiration for Edgar Wright's glorious Don't faux trailer in the woefully underappreciated Tarantino/Rodriguez homage Grindhouse) sics a regular Grinch on anyone sporting a Santa suit one London holiday season. A gruesome, sleazy affair, Don't Open is required viewing for anyone that craves a little gore in their eggnog.
Christmas Evil (1980)
Straddling the line between black comedy and horror, Christmas Evil shows just how wrong things can go when a little boy catches Mom doing more than kissing Santa Claus. With axes a-swinging and eyes a-gouging, the film makes the most of its briefly graphic scenes and it all leads to perhaps the most surreal conclusion in holiday horror history, complete with a torch-wielding mob and a van that rockets off into the night sky. And if that isn't bizarre enough, the unhinged, homicidal toymaker is played by Brandon Maggart - a.k.a Fiona Apple's father.
Black Christmas (1974)
A madman stalks and torments the remaining inhabitants of a sorority house in this early film from Bob "Christmas Story" Clark. The quintessential holiday horror film, Black Christmas can also lay claim to the most terrifying phone calls ever recorded, as the psychotic "Billy" gargles disturbing rants to the sorority sisters. With Margot Kidder as the boozy, no nonsense Barb, Black Christmas is the gold standard for seasonal shocks, even rivaling a certain October holiday's famous film.
