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Tuesday, 27 December 2011 20:01

... And I Feel Fine: Four Post-apocalyptic Films to Prepare You for the End of Times

Written by Shawn Parker
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boy_and_his_dogDespite minor details such as no supporting science or foothold in rational thought, this year will be chock-full of 2012 prophecy talk, and all the related end of the world ballyhoo. And while the likelihood of planetary collision or other cataclysmic occurrence is about the same as any other year, it is a deliciously topical chance to catch a few post-apocalyptic flicks. Nothing as obvious as Mad Max or the soulless spectacle of 2012 here — and no stark, Cormac McCarthy realism welcome.

2019,  After the Fall of New York (1983)
A classic of Italian trash cinema, 2019 showcases the aftermath of nuclear fallout (infertility) and wraps it in a low-budget blanket of action and violence as our hero Parsifal endeavors to locate the last remaining fertile woman. We get needlessly intense weaponry (and outfits!), mutants and more in this gnarly clunker of an Arthurian homage.

Zardoz (1974)
If you want to blow a few movie-loving friends' minds, tell them you have a Sean Connery film you're dying to show them. Five minutes into Zardoz and you will have either demolished any respect for your taste they may have had - or forever earned it. The definition of "see it to believe it" films, Zardoz is the story of a post-apocalyptic world where the near-primal survivors worship an anti-procreation, gun-spewing stone head idol and (a scantily clad) Sean Connery discovers a secret, affluent society far removed from the violence of the outside world. Part heady sci-fi, part camp masterpiece, and part red loin cloth, Zardoz is unlike anything you've seen — for better or worse.

A Boy and His Dog (1974)
It is post-nuclear war, and the titular Boy, Vic (Don Johnson. Yes, that Don Johnson) and his dog, Blood, roam the land, scavenging for what they can to survive. That ol' Blood happens to be a telepathic pooch with a bottomless stomach and what they're scavenging for is primarily female companionship, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Darkly humorous and with a vaguely nasty streak, A Boy and His Dog is something of a cult classic and is pulp sci-fi at its ragged, eccentric best.

Solarbabies (1986)
In the new world order water is hyper scarce and orphans form friendships through competing in a rollerball/hockey hybrid - sounds realistic thus far. But when one of the Solarbabies (that's the name of their team, obviously) finds a glowing orb with supernatural powers, things get a little far-fetched. And by "far-fetched" I mean "ludicrously magnificent," because Solarbabies is a delirious ‘80s romp from start to end. Who knew all it took to rise up against your water-enslaving oppressors was a magic E.T. ball and some roller skates?



Cult DVD Reviews

DVD-horror-expressHorror Express (Films)
Long available as a junk, budget DVD, this 1972 horror classic finally has an in-print, quality release thanks to the righteous dudes at Severin — though I am not a fan of the Blu-ray/DVD combo being the only option.

A fantastic monster-runs-amok film, Horror Express stars Christopher Lee as an uptight professor who discovers a frozen man-ape and Peter Cushing as his meddling rival. The film works due to the dynamic, claustrophobic train setting and the chemistry of Lee and Cushing, who play off each other perfectly. Throw in some excellent make-up effects (even 40 years later, that ape monster is freaky!) and an unhinged Telly Savalas as a vodka-swilling Cossack and you have the recipe for a perfect horror matinee.

Severin gave Horror Express the red carpet treatment with a hi-definition transfer, interesting featurettes, including one on the McCarthy-era blacklisting of filmmakers and an interview with Peter Cushing. Though it arrived late in the year, Horror Express makes a strong case for my "Horror Release of 2011."

DVD-lethal-ladiesLethal Ladies Collection (Shout! Factory)
Fresh from viewing Machete Maidens Unleashed, the wild journey into Filipino exploitation films, I had a hankering for more glorious trash and the Lethal Ladies triple feature from Shout! Factory more than fit the bill.

Squeezing more than four hours of butt-kicking, explosion-filled, jaw-dropping action insanity onto two discs, this collection is some of the worst (therefore best) that ‘70s and early ‘80s female-lead grindhouse action had to offer. With the tropical setting and eagerness of the government to court U.S. filmmakers, you get some surprisingly large set-pieces and thrills as explosions and gunfights look far bigger than they have any right to.

But what it comes down to are attractive ladies kicking butt with no interest in taking names, and the Lethal Ladies Collection has more than your recommended daily allowance.

Last modified on Friday, 30 December 2011 23:51

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